No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
