She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
