i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
