maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
