Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
