just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
i now understand why vodka
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
