Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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