Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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