I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
