You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
