Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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