i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
he just fucked me for my cheese..
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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