i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
