wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
