My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
