batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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