chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize