She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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