oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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