I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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