break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
