Porn is love you can see.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
