I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
