so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
