New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
