Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
