Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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