I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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