Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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