put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
