You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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