All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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