I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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