There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
