It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize