I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
