dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
