There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
