i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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