i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
