Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
