She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Such a big mess for such a small penis
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
