somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
