We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
