i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
