sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize