fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
