God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
