The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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