I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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