let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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