You really coming over, don't trick.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
