If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
