The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
