Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
