he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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