I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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