Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm jealous of your bromance
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
