sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
The best revenge is premature balding
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
