he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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