I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
this just has baby written all over it
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize