What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
are you so shy because you have an std?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
