I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
