used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
